Listening is more than an art. It is something written in our genes. If we could not listen, we would not have been able to respond to the world around us. From the early morning call of the birds and the hum of bees, to the sound of horns and passing traffic, we are daily taking in sounds that surround us. Yet, we are not fully conscious of these sounds; they remain in the background of our minds.
So it is with conversations. As we grow up and develop personalities of our own, we tend to talk more than we listen. We want to be listened to, but will not make the effort to listen to others. That is why there is so much miscommunication in the world.
We can learn from those who exercise the power of listening. When others listen to us, they make us feel secure, validated and understood. They accept us the way we are. They make us feel loved and appreciated. I owe much to people who listened to me, really listened. I may have been advised, may have seen a clearer path after being guided, I may have found out and learned some hidden truths about myself. But more than all those benefits, the very act of deep listening by others, has affirmed me in all i did and said.
Often, we pre-programme our replies, because we have not paused to really listen to the other. Sometimes, we have two or more people who are really shouting out their inner convictions and pre-judged opinions and conclusions at each other, as happens on TV debates. On the other hand, there are good programmes in which the anchor draws out the other by taking time to listen to what they really say.
When listening is face-to-face, it is important to not only listen to the conversation others are making with us, but also to listen to all the non-verbal communication of others. Sometimes, the facial expressions and body language of the other may contradict what the person is saying. In a telephone conversation, we could pick up not only from the tone of voice of the other or the volume with which they speak, but also sense whether the conversation is laced with care, concern and openness or whether it is laced with hostility or indifference.
The American psychiatrist Karl A Menninger called listening “a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force”. He said, “The friends who listen to us are the ones we move towards. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.”
When we listen to others, we show them respect. When students really listen to their teachers, they are not only showing due respect to them for their knowledge and skills, but also respecting them as persons.
Listening also has a healing quality to it. Illness and trauma can be cured when others listen to our stories. The priest and author, Henri Nouwen said, “Somewhere we know that without silence, words lose their meaning; that without listening, speaking no longer heals; that without distance, closeness cannot cure.”
The ability to listen is an essential part of our beings. We can become trained listeners. That is an art we can cultivate. More than what we say during the course of a day, what we listen to is from where our learning begins.
DISCLAIMER:
The views expressed in the Article above are Author’s personal views and kashmiribhatta.in is not responsible for the opinions expressed in the above article. Copyright Disclaimer under section 107 of the Copyright Act of 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, education, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing."
Courtesy: Economic Times, Speaking Tree, March 05,2019
Listening is more than an art. It is something written in our genes. If we could not listen, we would not have been able to respond to the world around us. From the early morning call of the birds and the hum of bees, to the sound of horns and passing traffic, we are daily taking in sounds that surround us. Yet, we are not fully conscious of these sounds; they remain in the background of our minds.
So it is with conversations. As we grow up and develop personalities of our own, we tend to talk more than we listen. We want to be listened to, but will not make the effort to listen to others. That is why there is so much miscommunication in the world.
We can learn from those who exercise the power of listening. When others listen to us, they make us feel secure, validated and understood. They accept us the way we are. They make us feel loved and appreciated. I owe much to people who listened to me, really listened. I may have been advised, may have seen a clearer path after being guided, I may have found out and learned some hidden truths about myself. But more than all those benefits, the very act of deep listening by others, has affirmed me in all i did and said.
Often, we pre-programme our replies, because we have not paused to really listen to the other. Sometimes, we have two or more people who are really shouting out their inner convictions and pre-judged opinions and conclusions at each other, as happens on TV debates. On the other hand, there are good programmes in which the anchor draws out the other by taking time to listen to what they really say.
When listening is face-to-face, it is important to not only listen to the conversation others are making with us, but also to listen to all the non-verbal communication of others. Sometimes, the facial expressions and body language of the other may contradict what the person is saying. In a telephone conversation, we could pick up not only from the tone of voice of the other or the volume with which they speak, but also sense whether the conversation is laced with care, concern and openness or whether it is laced with hostility or indifference.
The American psychiatrist Karl A Menninger called listening “a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force”. He said, “The friends who listen to us are the ones we move towards. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.”
When we listen to others, we show them respect. When students really listen to their teachers, they are not only showing due respect to them for their knowledge and skills, but also respecting them as persons.
Listening also has a healing quality to it. Illness and trauma can be cured when others listen to our stories. The priest and author, Henri Nouwen said, “Somewhere we know that without silence, words lose their meaning; that without listening, speaking no longer heals; that without distance, closeness cannot cure.”
The ability to listen is an essential part of our beings. We can become trained listeners. That is an art we can cultivate. More than what we say during the course of a day, what we listen to is from where our learning begins.
DISCLAIMER:
The views expressed in the Article above are Author’s personal views and kashmiribhatta.in is not responsible for the opinions expressed in the above article. Copyright Disclaimer under section 107 of the Copyright Act of 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, education, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing."
Courtesy: Economic Times, Speaking Tree, March 05,2019