Living in the now is what most psychologists suggest is the best way of living. Does that mean that we forget the past because it is over and done with? Don’t we understand our lives better when we remember the past? Looking back, we can remember the times when we succeeded and the times we failed. What were the behaviour patterns that guided us when we succeeded and what were the behaviour patterns we adopted when we failed?
Looking back at my career, i remember the times when i was appreciated for my work. That motivated me to do even better and i gave of my best. But, when i worked with an unappreciative boss and in an uncongenial environment, i could not do my best because i lived in fear of adverse reactions from my seniors.
Sometimes it is time to move on. We might have become accustomed to the praise and support of a small, exclusive group of people who we mistakenly thought were friends. As long as one subscribed to the same set of beliefs as they did, we felt comfortable, liked and appreciated. Once we stepped out of that zone, we were no longer part of the same belief systems and were no longer considered as friends.
The lessons we learn from the past, especially from our failures, teach us something about how to approach the future and present. Looking back, i realise that there were times when i developed and sustained relationships successfully. At the same time, i remember times when my personal relationships snapped and ended with no obvious reasons. I realise now that some relationships i formed in my youth were immature and shallow. Small differences in understanding came in the way of their healthy development.
When we look back, we realise we were productive when we gave ourselves messages of hope and confidence. We learnt to face criticism and to discern creative criticism and how it differed from put-downs. As our value systems changed, so did our relationships.
Our choices are always determined by our passions. The lessons i have learnt during the course of my life have stood me in good stead. When struck by adversity, i found resources for forging ahead alone in life. So my ‘now’ is coloured by my past, whether i like it or not.
We derive power from the past, by not repeating the same mistakes and by absorbing the lessons that only our own life can teach us. The power of carrying forward the lessons we learn can make or break the present and future.
Joyce Meyer says that we are meant to look forward, but we only understand life when we look backwards. The insights we gain into our past patterns come not at that time, but only when we have finished with the experience. So we now understand the periods of confusion, the periods of clarity, what prompted us to take the decisions we did at that time and whether they were for our good or not.
We can either use the past to get wiser, more discerning of life’s situations and to be more productive. Or else we can pretend as if the past has nothing more to say to us. But there is some merit in understanding that the past remains in our memories, bodies and our lives and in an important way, impacts our present and future.
DISCLAIMER:
The views expressed in the Article above are Author’s personal views and kashmiribhatta.in is not responsible for the opinions expressed in the above article. Copyright Disclaimer under section 107 of the Copyright Act of 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, education, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing."
Courtesy: Times of India, Speaking Tree, May 28, 2019
Living in the now is what most psychologists suggest is the best way of living. Does that mean that we forget the past because it is over and done with? Don’t we understand our lives better when we remember the past? Looking back, we can remember the times when we succeeded and the times we failed. What were the behaviour patterns that guided us when we succeeded and what were the behaviour patterns we adopted when we failed?
Looking back at my career, i remember the times when i was appreciated for my work. That motivated me to do even better and i gave of my best. But, when i worked with an unappreciative boss and in an uncongenial environment, i could not do my best because i lived in fear of adverse reactions from my seniors.
Sometimes it is time to move on. We might have become accustomed to the praise and support of a small, exclusive group of people who we mistakenly thought were friends. As long as one subscribed to the same set of beliefs as they did, we felt comfortable, liked and appreciated. Once we stepped out of that zone, we were no longer part of the same belief systems and were no longer considered as friends.
The lessons we learn from the past, especially from our failures, teach us something about how to approach the future and present. Looking back, i realise that there were times when i developed and sustained relationships successfully. At the same time, i remember times when my personal relationships snapped and ended with no obvious reasons. I realise now that some relationships i formed in my youth were immature and shallow. Small differences in understanding came in the way of their healthy development.
When we look back, we realise we were productive when we gave ourselves messages of hope and confidence. We learnt to face criticism and to discern creative criticism and how it differed from put-downs. As our value systems changed, so did our relationships.
Our choices are always determined by our passions. The lessons i have learnt during the course of my life have stood me in good stead. When struck by adversity, i found resources for forging ahead alone in life. So my ‘now’ is coloured by my past, whether i like it or not.
We derive power from the past, by not repeating the same mistakes and by absorbing the lessons that only our own life can teach us. The power of carrying forward the lessons we learn can make or break the present and future.
Joyce Meyer says that we are meant to look forward, but we only understand life when we look backwards. The insights we gain into our past patterns come not at that time, but only when we have finished with the experience. So we now understand the periods of confusion, the periods of clarity, what prompted us to take the decisions we did at that time and whether they were for our good or not.
We can either use the past to get wiser, more discerning of life’s situations and to be more productive. Or else we can pretend as if the past has nothing more to say to us. But there is some merit in understanding that the past remains in our memories, bodies and our lives and in an important way, impacts our present and future.
DISCLAIMER:
The views expressed in the Article above are Author’s personal views and kashmiribhatta.in is not responsible for the opinions expressed in the above article. Copyright Disclaimer under section 107 of the Copyright Act of 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, education, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing."
Courtesy: Times of India, Speaking Tree, May 28, 2019