GESTURE

 

Recently I had some problem with my teeth and I had to visit my dentist doctor. She is a young lady and I have known her for quite some time now. Apart from her professional expertise she is a wonderful person too, well behaved, soft spoken and well mannered. This time I had to see her after a long gap, thanks to her for she has been taking a good care of my teeth, both natural and artificial. My appointment was fixed at twelve-fifteen and I was at her clinic on the dot. She was already busy seeing her earlier patient. After waiting for about ten more minutes I was called in. I entered and took my seat in a side chair. After exchanging pleasantries and before listening to me about my problem, the doctor said to me, ‘my marriage has been fixed and the wedding will take place in October. I want you to attend my marriage definitely.’ So saying she got up from her revolving chair, came near me and touched my feet to take my blessings for her married life. I replied in an elated tone, ‘oh! Wonderful, God bless you. It is great news and I am very happy for you. ’Thereafter, she asked me to take my seat in the examination chair, examined me and suggested the course of action to be taken. Then I left the clinic and drove towards my home. On the way I was thinking about the gesture of touching my feet that she had shown while conveying the good news. What is this gesture after all, what does it connote and what is the significance of this gesture. Then I thought that there are many such gestures, some common to mankind and some prevalent in certain groups and societies only. Hugging and embracing, kissing and patting, touching the head and shoulders, waiving, showing a thumb and many such gestures are often seen and made by persons of different denominations and categories. These are in vogue from time immemorial. God knows when these gestures have started but one thing is certain that these are designed to convey certain emotions and feelings. They are silent but eloquent. They touch the very core of one’s heart and have a lasting effect of bonding, togetherness and fellow-feeling. Take the case of kissing. It starts with our parents. The father gives us a kiss on our forehead. The mother gives us a kiss on our cheeks. Our elders, brothers and sisters too kiss us on the head or on the face and thus convey their love and affection for us. Mother’s kiss is a gesture of abounding affection with a subtle prayer for our longevity, health and happiness. Father’s kiss is a boon and a blessing for our prosperity and progress. In our youth we exchange kisses with our spouse, our love and our lifelong companions. These can be on forehead, on the cheeks or even on the lips and they connote immense and intense feeling of love, attraction and bondage. These are gestures conveying a message that we are made for each other and that the one is incomplete without the other. A mere kiss conveys volumes that a speech for hours on end would not have been able to register. Another very common gesture is that of hugging or embracing. This is prevalent in most of the countries across continents. We meet someone after a long time. We call on somebody or come across someone after a gap of a long period we involuntarily as it were, rush to hold him in a tight hug. There are different poses and different ways of this hug. In Kashmir, the person hugging moves his neck from one shoulder to the other of the person he is embracing, a few times over and over again. Some people give a gentle soft hug and others hold the beloved one tightly for quite some time. Some people precede or follow the embrace with a nice hand shake too. This is generally a gesture indicating how much we missed the person and how happy we are to meet him after a period of time. Embracing takes place on festivities as well like Eid in Muslims, Holi in Hindus and the like. On these occasions this denotes collective celebration, mutual greetings and togetherness in happiness. There are occasions when near or dear one of a person is no more. At these times friends and relatives embrace the bereaved in order to show sympathy and condolence towards him. In some societies there is hugging at the time of marriage ceremony while receiving the bridegroom and his entourage. Various relatives of the bride embrace their counterparts from the groom’s side. This is a gesture of meeting and strengthening the bond of relationship that they are about to enter in. One more common gesture is patting. Our elders, well-wishers and companions pat us on the back whenever we do something great or accomplish something praiseworthy. We see this often in the sports fields in games. Whenever a player does something great, while the spectators cheer him from the stands, his companions and fellow players pat him on his back. This patting is a gesture of appreciation and praise and recognition. The cricket players often touch each other’s glove-covered hands whenever one of them executes a fine shot out of the boundary or reaches century or a half century. Patting on the back by our elders is also a mark of encouragement. Whenever they find us losing confidence or feeling dejected they pat us in order to put us back on the track with renewed vigour and enthusiasm. Thumbs up is yet another gesture to buck up a person in his endeavour when the going gets difficult and tough. It rejuvenates the person and he sets forth with determination and zest. When an elder in age or wisdom wants to bring home a point or two to someone for whom he cares and feels concerned, he moves forward and puts his hands on his shoulders and then calmly and affectionately explains the point at issue to him. This gesture of keeping hands on his shoulders is to attract his attention and make him see the reason. This is often used in poignant situations. In such situations there is often an attempt to make an eye contact. This gesture is very effective because if the person concerned has done something really wrong and is suffering from a sense of guilt, he is unable to make eye contact. In fact he cannot muster enough courage to raise his eye-lids or head with the result that his gaze gets stuck to the ground and he is overtaken by remorse. The good thing that emerges is that he understands the reality and then corrects himself. Gestures are made with the movement of one’s hands as well but we cannot keep that as a secret, if we so desire. The most powerful medium for gestures are our eyes. Without allowing any other person to know one can convey a lot through one’s eyes. Eyes can indicate what to do or what not to do. Eyes can express surprise. They can depict anger and disallowance. They can give a clue. We can permit or forbid by a wink or a gesture of the eyes. Eyes are the mirror of our mind and the clever and careful people can read all that from our eyes. It is very difficult, in fact well-nigh impossible to hide the expression of our mind from appearing on our eyes. Even the tears give away the secret of our being either too happy or too sad. Then we have the ever enchanting smile and laughter. We laugh to our mind’s content if we get a pleasant surprise or if we want to mock at someone’s foolishness. Jokes, mimicry and subtle ridicules incite laughter. Sometimes we laugh at our own foolishness in word, deed or understanding. A smile is more subtle and effective. It is indicative of suppressed feeling of elation. It shows our perception of pleasing things. It sometimes shows our ridicule for others’ idiosyncrasies. Smile comes automatically on our lips when we see a pleasing spectacle like a child’s tantrum. Folding hands or keeping an open palm on the side of our head are the gestures expressing our respect and regards for elders, deities and seniors in age and wisdom. Bowing low again is a mark of reverence for those we respect and adore. Closing our eyes and sitting still denotes that we are in deep meditation and contemplation far away from our worldly surroundings. Gesture is a powerful language expressing a variety of thoughts and reactions. This unique, telling and effective language must have preceded the spoken and written word for it neither needs an alphabet, pictorial or phonetic nor any sound emanating from our palate, throat, lips or teeth. It comes naturally and follows the command and direction of the mind and intellect. It is the result of our discernment and a reaction born of our feelings. It is a powerful human trait indeed. Then there are gestures of kindness, care, concern and compassion. These can be in the form of help either rendered physically or by words in the shape of an advice, or monetarily or even by sharing the happiness or any form of celebrations. These gestures bind us with others in such a way that we become members of an enlarged family given to charity, philanthropy, service unto suffering or fighting for a common noble cause

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Courtesy: T.N.DHAR ‘KUNDAN’ and  Spade A Spade-May 2025