In old age make sweet use of idleness

M K Mattoo

life is born out of desire' and we remain prisoners of this desire over countless lifetimes During these births, the soul remains oblivious of the purpose of life and gets more and more entangled in various attractions of the physical world -in relationships, career, berties and places, occupations properties and hobbies.

Life is what you make of it. If you fail, laugh at it and move on. Failure is a lesson, learnt on the way to success. In fact, it is the stepping stone to success. When life throws lemons at you, make lemonade out of these, better still, when life throws rocks at you, make castles out of these. The truth is you do not change the way you lead your life because someone is saying something about you. It is very natural for people to peep into other people's lives. It doesn't mean that I am not interested in the lives of other people. It is a human tendency But ultimately, it is only your work and behaviour that speaks for you. If people are interested in you, it is not because you wore a white suit but because they enjoyed your behaviour

I have fallen on many times in my life, but every time I fall, some unknown power gives me strength and I am able to bounce back. This power is called atman or the self. One who identifies himself with his body and mind is susceptible to fall, the 'Self in him lifts him up every time and installs the faith that he is self-sufficient. Accept trouble as an inevitable part of life and when it comes, hold your head high, look at squarely in the eye and say, I will be bigger than you, you cannot defeat me, it is what I think

I have tried to sustain my integrity and voice. I don't sell pipe dreams. I want people to be rattled by reality. I believe life is a basket. If I put my trust, money, effort, support, love and co-operation in it, my children, too, must put their own contribution in that basket to make life a rewarding experience. If they put nothing and I am the constant silent giver, something is wrong in that relationship.

I came from a humble background. My parents were simple and God-fearing. They constantly reminded me of my roots. Everyone should have at least one who should always guide you and advise you. I was lucky to have my parents around. Such a company helps in taking off all the pressure. I never felt tired or get bored when they were around. We are living in times where everything else has taken precedence over family and caring and sharing for older parents, especially, has taken a back seat. Today, everyone is immersed in the web and glue of maya bound to the senses and their objects.

My mother played an extra important role in my life and I talked to her every day and took her views on any subject. She was my guru. She was awesome, extremely religious, really straight and never told me not to do anything of my own. She has always been liberal and creative. She told me at a young age: 'Don't be scared of failures, it will make you a better person. I remember she was helpful to all. That is why when someone comes and asks me for help, I always give it as I know that behind one man, there is a whole family. Some people do not even ask due to self pride but I always make it a point to give it. "Let there be no thought of loss and profit in helping others. I cry thinking that I could not spend much time with her. We all live, thinking, we will live forever, but life suddenly goes away. Even though she lived with me but I could not be able to gain her heart for a few minutes. She was an angel with a smiling face and blessed hands. Time has gone, gone forever. I cannot get my mother back. We cry once we do not have something, but don't value it when we ought to have valued it.

My father was a most knowledgeable and interesting person. We were like buddies and every evening I would go and sit with him for an hour in his room at Srinagar, just him and me and he would talk to me about life and I would come out enriched but he could not live long to guide me further. He taught me that getting to top is not difficult, but sustaining it is. Today I don't understand why children leave their parents. They had looked after you all your life. Today the way I and my wife respect each other's parents is what our children will learn why they are not able to see their parents always happy and cheerful in spite of their other obligations and bindings as they did for you.

I lived with the satisfaction that I had not betrayed myself just in order to be one who has a false smile on his face. We are scared of what people say and so we behave in a certain way. You can live a happy and full life with a shared point of view. I am attached to a few people in my life and I can give my life for them. I have not belittled anyone to find success. Others' happiness is my happiness. I am a man with a lot of patience. People think I don't have a serious side to me, but the fact is I don't want them to see my somber side.

Today I am enjoying all the facets of life, whether it is my work or family. The key is to organize everything in such a way that I do not neglect anything. I work and manage my time around them. It is essential to decide on your priority first and then plan your life around it. 'At least, that is how I manage to do whatever I do. I loved the time I got to spend in Delhi. I got to spend time with my grandchild, without being pried upon. I am free and can take my grandchild to the park or outside without being noticed or looked at. Child changes the fundamentals of relationship.

It is my good karma that has made me what I am today. Lust, greed, possessiveness and narrowness is the real face of an individual. I took my mind away from it all but now all that is past. Everything that comes your way naturally should be looked upon as a gift from god and that includes Hanging. Now I am beaming away at age 76, I think I have grown up every time I have stumbled and succeeded. I do not regret anything in life. In order to become more than the sum total of your past, you need to embrace the good with the bad and take it chin up. A living normal life is a blessing and should not be frittered away by fretting over things which are beyond your reach. So why is one surprised at the appearance of wrinkles or a slowing of your movements when we were not surprised at the beauty of our youth and enjoyed with pride whatever God gave us earlier. Every age has its joys, griefs and blessings and resisting these is futile in life; accept the inevitable. It is better to walk with grace out into the night. Resistance will only cause unnecessary pain and grief. Treat your wrinkles as the badges of honour that you have received in the battlefield of life, not as scars. Old age is the time when you know the sweet uses of idleness.

I am not scared of death and feel the four unknown persons need are all I need to take me to the cremation ground to lit my pyre. That is all. "Death is not full-stop; it is a comma, to be followed by another life and another is reality of life. Hence living every moment is precious; don't live in apathy.

(The writer lives in Najafgarh, Delhi).

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Courtesy:- M K Mattoo and February 2015 Koshur Samachar